HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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