Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We were destined to go to rehab together
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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