i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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