Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
