I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
