Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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