I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
