two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
