Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
