Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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