When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
