Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
