I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
