i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
