Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
