Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
