I got chris browned last night
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
