kristin has been a bad kristin
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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