if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Hippo gnu deer
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
