just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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