Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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