So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
