i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
