week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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