Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
