YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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