hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
