he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
