would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
