told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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