She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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