i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
