i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
