sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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