Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
