Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
