I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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