Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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