i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
