Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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