We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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