i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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