I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
