Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
