If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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