Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
