You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
