I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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