just come out here and I will go home with you...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
