just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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